Today I Am Angry

Today I am angry.

Angry at cancer.

I am angry for my Uncle Gordon who lost his life to lung cancer after losing so much of his quality of life to a stroke. And for his daughter Susan who had to wage her own war.

I am angry for my Aunt Carol, who instead of spending her time with her gazillion grandchildren, is stuck dealing with the debilitating effects of chemo.

I am angry for my sister-in-law's father Bill who left us way too soon.

I am angry for my mom's best friend Bev whose passing made the world a lot less vibrant.

I am angry for my sweet friend who instead of basking in the glow of pregnancy, instead had to battle for her life and her baby's. Thank God she won.

I am angry for one of my closest friends who while dealing with several of life's other curve balls also had to endure breast cancer.

I am especially angry today for my childhood friend Andrea who has stared cancer down three times and today is back at Dana Farber facing the possibility of having to do it again.

I am angry that this list of people to be angry for is so damn long.

And though it seems especially self-indulgent, I am angry for myself. That despite being told by my doctors that I have no risk factors and "there is absolutely no reason why this happened to you" I had to lose a breast to the beast.

So today I am swinging mad.

Tomorrow is another day.